What I Did Last Samhain... and Plans Going Forward

Bright Blessings and Warm Greetings to you, dear reader!

We are now at the beginning of June, and thus the beginning of Winter here in Australia. We have had a few nice cold days, which have been lovely. It doesn't get freezing here, but I love to pull the jeans, jumpers, boots and scarves out of the closet.

My daughter Adele was born on the 6th of April, and I have been somewhat quiet on my blog and in the IDGAF community ever since (understandably, I suppose). She is now 2 months old. I will have to blog about my birth story sometime on my other blog, but I won't do that here, except to say she and I are both doing well and we are settling into life as a family of four.

I have been having some trouble finding time to read, but also having trouble concentrating on what I'm reading and retaining the information. However, I think that is changing... I have a cold at the moment, which I think has slowed me down, and on the weekend I got the chance read a relationship book called The Five Love Languages. I then went on to read some of the book Evolutionary Witchcraft by T. Thorn Coyle, which I am finding a wonderful read. I discovered the work of T. Thorn Coyle a couple of years ago when I was right into listening to podcasts and I came across her Elemental Castings Podcast. At first I thought the whole Feri/Reclaiming thing wasn't for me, but surprisingly to me I really loved her podcast and I now have massive respect for her work. I have already read another of her books, Kissing the Limitless, and I really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it, mostly in terms of the positive perspective on life that she fosters, her focus on discipline and diligent regular (if not daily) spiritual practice and her compassion and commitment to service of the planet and those less fortunate (in any small way that's possible for you).

So far, in reading Evolutionary Witchcraft I have read about some practices that are vastly different to what I have done in the past, which I am looking forward to trying out. She also endorses some very simple practices (such as meditating in the shower and visualising washing away your cares), which are great for busy people. I firmly believe that even if you're a busy person that doesn't mean you can't practice the craft or be spiritual... especially when you can make small things sacred and make every moment magical and special as much as possible. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the book, and also reading Ritualcraft by Amber K. I really want to get better at formal ritual, although at present with my time constraints I have a very free-flowing practice that is working well for me.

In the month of April here in Australia we celebrate ANZAC Day (Australia and New Zealand Army Corps), and my husband and I took the kids to a Parade. I find this very much in the spirit of Samhain, just in terms of honoring the dead and the sacrifices they made and paying our respects. At Samhain I made a pilgrimage to my local cemetery, where I took a long meditative walk (it's a large cemetery that backs onto a beautiful park), photographed some water lilies that were growing in a nearby lake, and collected some dirt from atop a grave (for which I left an offering of patchouli leaves from my garden).


That night, I made tacos for dinner, with homemade guacamole and we ate together as a family. Everyone didn't stay silent in the tradition of the dumb supper, mainly because we need to prompt my young son to eat! I left the graveyard dirt at my altar with my other graveyard dirt, and lit candles. I have been running low on black candles. Luckily I picked up some cute little black chime candles half price from Loot Homewares the last time my husband and I went there. What an awesome find! They will be really great for my workings (and for next Samhain if I have any left). I use black candles rather frequently, to release negativity.

I am very much looking forward to Yule, and to continuing my reading. Because of my concentration issues, I can't always read. I can however listen to podcasts, watch people on YouTube and read the odd blog post here and there, so that I am always learning, always thinking and growing and evolving as much as possible. I am planning some gifts for notable people in my life in keeping with the Yule Tradition. I may just bake cookies (which I haven't done since I was still pregnant)! I have been limiting my time on social media, since it can be such a time waster that takes up time I could be doing other important things (reading, gardening, spending time with the kids, keeping the house clean and staying on top of chores), as well as having face-to-face interactions with people, which I am trying to increase. As a mother with small children a lot of my face-to-face interactions are with other mums with babies, talking about poo. Needless to say, I like to balance this with anything at all not related to poo. Haha!

My mother-in-law has been unwell recently, she has commenced smoking again and is on the brink of pneumonia, so I am staying away while I have a cold. Fortunately she has a marvellous friend of the family staying with her at the moment and helping to care for her. I'm not happy about the smoking thing, and neither is my husband, but I guess it's her life and we have to accept that she's going to do what she wants to do. I may have contributed to her stress by arguing with my sister-in-law (in a spat that has mostly now been resolved), but ultimately she made the decision to pick up the cigarettes again. I just hope we still have a matter of months left with her and not weeks. We love her to bits.

Yesterday I was going to stay home and just read more, but my husband talked me into going to the annual Eco Fest held at the Tondoon Botanic gardens (where we got married 6 years ago). I'm glad we went. I always enjoy seeing the stalls and learning more about how we can look after our environment. The highlight was meeting Costa Georgiardis (a television presenter from the show Gardening Australia) and hearing him talk.

His talk was very interesting, he talked about our values regarding buying food, and went on to talk about community gardens and teaching young people and kids about food gardening.

Hopefully I'll get through the next few months and be OK. It's almost election time here, which always gives me the shits because I don't like being lied to or not having viable options.

Thank you for reading. Blessed be!

Transitions and Shifting Energy

Greetings and belated new year blessings to you all! So I am finally getting around to updating this blog for the first time since moving to my new house. Needless to say, the move was a pain in the butt, but now that I'm on the other side of it I'm so grateful to be getting settled in and preparing for a better future in our new living space. We've mostly finished unpacking; we haven't set up the new baby's room however, and that makes me slightly nervous since I'm at the start of my third trimester now! The pregnancy is still going well. I can't complain too much, however I am experiencing a few more common pregnancy complaints (back pain, tiredness etc.) with this pregnancy than I did when I was pregnant with my son over three years ago now. I don't know whether it's because I'm older now or if it's just down to it being a completely different pregnancy and baby, but I'm already looking into my options for long-term contraception so I never have to do this again! I am overjoyed to be having another baby and looking forward to meeting her, and I'm mostly doing really well mentally and emotionally (apart from being a bit sensitive and prone to tears), I think having 2 kids will be an amazing blessing and I am facing the uncertainly of the future with serenity rather than anxiety.

I have been keeping up with my reading as a part of my requirements for IDGAF membership. The most recent books I read were: Spirits of a Sacred Grove by Emma Restall Orr, Inanna by Diane Weinstein and Samuel Kramer, and The Book of Lilith by Barbara Black Koltuv, PhD. These were all relatively short as well as being easy-to-read, so I got through the former two in a matter of weeks and the latter in a matter of days. I aim to read something a bit longer next. I have Ritualcraft by Amber K lined up, which I am told is an easy and fun read despite being long. 

Spirits of the Sacred Grove was an absolutely beautiful and evocative read. I had a lot of moments where I closed the book and sighed before reading on because the passage I had just read was so gorgeous. Even though it's not a thourough how-to guide to Druidry and other Earth-Centred religions, it had a lot of examples of beautiful rituals featured that could always be adapted, and it was utterly inspiring. I plan to read more books by Emma Restall Orr in the future because I think she's such a great teacher of Pagan theology and cosmology, and she explains her thoughts and ideologies so beautifully.

Inanna was a beautiful translation of the hymns to, and stories of, the ancient Sumerian Goddess Inanna. The first part of the book retold these stories, illustrated by beautiful art from this time period (all of which an appendix at the back of the book explained), and the second part of the book was an historical account of life and religion in ancient Sumer. The stories were brief but entertaining, and you could see how they could be worked into rituals and workings (although I haven't tried this yet). The second part of the book was a surprisingly easy read as well. Like the book Helen of Troy (which I read last year), despite being a historical book, it was a juicy and delicious read that really brought that time period to life for me. I saw this book on someone's Instagram feed and decided to read it. I'm glad I did!

The Book of Lilith was quite brief, but it was a basic break-down of the myths and stories about Lilith taken from the Talmud and other historical sources. The main thing I got out of it was personal insight into and an understanding of why I am drawn to Lilith and working with this often maligned female figure as a Goddess energy. To me she represents the shadow side of not just femininity, but humanity... the side of ourselves that disobeys and chooses the path of freedom, even though this may come at a cost. The downside to this book is that it was brief. There is a lengthier book specifically about Lilith called Which lilith?, not sure if I'll get to read it though as it retails for over $100!

Since getting settled in at the new house, I have maintained a regular spiritual practice. This involves daily meditation, journalling, working with tarot and oracle cards and prayer/invocation to my Gods and Goddesses and to the divine as I envision it: both as the Earth and forces of nature, and universal source/spirit. I'm finding it very spiritually enriching to have a regular spiritual practice, even though it is quite basic and simple. I do mean to get back into more formal and complex ritual (which is why I want to read Ritualcraft), and the main reason I haven't is that I don't have my main altar set up yet. In the new house I have a whole room to use as an office, spare bedroom and sacred space, however I have decided to give my old bookshelf with the toy chest underneath to the new baby (so both of the kids will have one). I have a new bookshelf on order which will have a drawer underneath, which I think will suit my purposes even better, and I think it's going to be slightly bigger which is great! So it will just be a little while longer and I will have my new altar to put all of my books and ALL THE THINGS on. I am going to sort through my books and keep all the "reference" books that I turn to regularly in my practice on that bookshelf. I'm exited for that, but in the meantime I am making do with what I have and enjoying a spiritual and magical practice that's not quite so outward, but quite internalised and introspective if that makes sense. It may even be a bit New-Agey rather than hardcore Occult and Pagan, but with everything I have going on right now (what with my Mother-in-law's illness and the pregnancy and the move and all), I am doing what calls to my soul and works for me at this present point in time, and I don't think I need to apologise to anyone for that. Here is a photo of my current altar set-up: 

I have my stone pentacle on there, with some stones, shells and crystals in the wooden bowl and strewn on the altar, with some candles (I'm using beeswax tea lights right now, yum!), incense (I either use stick incence, palo santo or sage), card decks (I mix it up with the decks I use every couple of weeks or so, since I have made the decision to intentionally and purposefully amass a modest collection of decks and I have so many now) and two Goddess statues, Isis and Lilith, which to me not only symbolise their specific energies and archetypes, but the archetypes of the Goddess of Light & Life and that of Death, Darkness and the Shadow (if that makes sense). I don't have a God or masculine divine archetype present at the moment. I believe He knows He is always in my heart and will be represented prominently in my sacred space when the time comes. I watched a very interesting video just today talking about feminist spirituality and how the dualism of divine feminine/divine masculine can be seen as heteronormative. This isn't the case for me, but as someone who wants to be inclusive of people and sensitive to issues of gender and sexuality, it's something I want to explore more and be acutely aware of. It's funny how you can be a practicing Pagan for years and years and still have aspects of your spirituality that you feel you know so little about! For me that's part of what keeps it exiting though. There's always more to explore and learn.

My garden is quite neglected and overgrown at the moment, partly because my husband's mower is at the shop getting repairs, but also partly because we haven't gotten out there to tend to it much as we spend most weekends with hubby's mum; and frankly it's been bloody hot and humid and it's hard work for a pregnant lady to get out there and weed the damn thing! I am lucky that none of my plants have died. I took some photos, and it's beautiful in it's own way, but I am looking forward to having a nice manicured garden again, haha!

At my old house I had rosemary planted in the ground, which grew huge and beautiful. I took a few cuttings hoping it would strike, and luckily one did, so here is it's progeny.

This is my mugwort, with some purslane next to it. It's still alive, I can say that much. Luckily I have a shitload of it dried, since it's one of my favourite magical herbs, so I've got plenty to keep me going until I get this one re-potted and growing better, perhaps in a shadier spot.

Common garden sage. Effective in lots of workings, even if it does remind me of a roast dinner.

Three of my plants that are growing better in the sunnier garden: two roses and a desert rose. I'm looking forward to seeing them flower.

I'm feeling called to grow some cacti in the new garden for protection, although I'll have to sort something out so the kids can't touch them. Magical protection is something that I had been sensing a need for in recent months, but I wasn't quite sure what to do about this feeling until recently. I had always gotten by with a few simple sachets of herbs and carrying stones with me, and to be honest, I was quite wishy-washy and blaisé in my approach... I was previously of the mindset that I was safe from other people's negativity and psychic/magical attack unless I believed I wasn't (and I still think this is true, up to a point), however in recent months I had the persistent sense of something being not-quite-right energetically and feeling ill-at-ease in a way that was affecting my state of mind. I tried taking practical steps towards rectifying this and asked for advice from virtually everyone I trusted (I even sought out a reading on the matter from a trusted witch); in the end what worked was inner work (on the "astrals", if you will) on forming strong energetic barriers and protections, calling in my Gods, guides, ancestors and departed loved ones and holding very strong visualisations that I am energetically safe and protected. I feel that this experience was a spiritual test that I had to pass, and I'm glad I maintained my wellbeing throughout it. Realising that magical protection is actually a necessity for me and that I have to take it seriously has made me wiser through experience, and I'll continue to trust my instincts as well as my learned wisdom.

With the coming of this new year, I reflected on the spiritual goals I have met during the past year, as well as the goals that I have moving forward into the new year. I am proud of myself for making regular spiritual reading a priority, as well as having a regular simple spiritual practice and daily meditation. Those are things that I have wanted to do for a long time, and even though I am reaping a lot of benefits from those practices, reaching my spiritual goals is also a reward in itself. This new year I want to study the tarot a lot more and get serious about doing more regular formal rituals. I also want to make time for daily yoga asana practice and have a better morning routine. I am taking steps towards these goals, and I have the IDGAF community to thank in no small part, for making me accountable in a loving and supportive way. I'm reading the book 78 Degrees of Wisdom and I bought a daily yoga planner. I'm already taking steps towards having a great morning practice that makes me feel good and sets me up for a great day (rather than feeling crappy in the morning and taking hours to become productive). I'm looking forward to ending this year having worked on my spirituality and self development even more.

We're not sure how much longer we have left with my husband's mum Earthside. A few months ago they told her she might pass right before the baby is born (at the end of April) or right after. Luckily she has now had some radiation which should slow down the progression of her cancer and give her a bit longer. It has also alleviated a lot of the symptoms she was having, such as mobility issues and difficulty speaking. Unfortunately, she now has a burning sensation in her throat and chest, which I hope passes soon. I am going to send her some healing during my meditation tonight. Today I asked her if I can have a necklace of hers to pass on to my daughter one day. I was really nervous and almost cried asking her, but she was glad I asked and she said yes. My sister- in-law was there and she's happy for me to have that necklace too. I'd rather have my Mother-in-law around for my kids to know in years to come than a dumb necklace, but I'm glad we'll have something to remember her by.

Well, I was hoping this blog post would be a bit more polished and feature photos of a completely set-up house and flawless garden, but that's life, and life is beautiful and filled with magic even if it doesn't always look like what you expect it to! Thank you for reading, and I wish you love and blessings. :) xx